A Dis-Tastefully Poor Joke!

I picked up this girl the other night and she took me back to her house where things got hot and heavy very quickly. I bent her over the kitchen table and started going at it when suddenly we heard the front door open. "Oh shit , it's my boyfriend ! " she exclaimed "Quick, use the backdoor."

Now it's at about this time I probably should have left but you just don't get an offer like that every day.

Two Drunks Visit a Whorehouse...

I have heard this one about a hundred times...

So these two drunks were walking down the street one day and one looks at the other and says

Hey man, when is the last time you got laid?

The other drunk says

Hell its been a long time. Let's go to the whorehouse and get some.

As they walk into the front door the madame decides she isn't going to waste any of her girls on these drunks. She tells one of the girls to fix up some blow up dolls in some vacant rooms. Since they are drunk they will never know the difference.

One of the drunks says to the madame

Hey! We want your two finest Whores!

She says

Well boys we have two girls waiting on you upstairs already.

So the two go upstairs, do their business, and start walking home.

On the way home they are both silent for quite a while when one of them finally decides to speak.

Man, that girl I had, I think she was dead! I put every move I had on her and she didn't move a bit!

The other drunk said

That ain't nothing, the girl I had was a witch! I bit her titty and she farted and flew out the window!