Latinos Have a Plan To Take Over the United States

I am Latino and I have no ill will towards the USA.  Sure, a good chunk of the United States was once part of Mexico, but wars are fought and stupid leaders give up parts of their country (Yes, I am talking to you General Santa Ana!).  I have several Mexican-American friends who swear that the increase in the Hispanic population here in the U.S. is some sort of master plot by Mexico to take over the U.S.  “BASURA!” I say.  Then I see this in the news, a Latino couple in Nebraska (That;s up close to where Matt lives) last week became the proud parents of quintuplets. Mara, Cristóbal, Ximena, Arleth and Roselyn García where born in July. 

Then I got to thinking…I have a lot of Latino friends here in Texas and I know of 3 Latino couples who have twins in the past 18 months, 2 couples who have had triplets and my friend’s brother just had quadruplets.  All are Latinos.  WOW – We are a fertile bunch!!

I always knew that we Hispanics are a resourceful bunch and now I am beginning to think that maybe we have crafted a brilliant master plan to take over the U.S: Reproduce quickly and in large quantities.  

What's Wrong with America - Credit Problems

Here comes another rant!!!

America seems to be full of people who attempt to maintain lifestyles that they simply can't afford financially. This is why credit cards were invented, and this is why the average credit card debt in America is over $8,500.  Yes, the world can thank Us, greedy, overspending, materialistic Americans, for the Credit Card.

AmericanI am really beginning to see that we Americans are spoiled rotten. Commodities such as iPods, laptops, designer clothes, smart phones, fancy deodorant, and satellite television have been successfully marketed as necessities. We (when I say we, I mean Americans) have to have this crap, and we are not afraid to give their left nut to the creditors in order to make sure that they get that cool new Katy Perry Ring-Tone.

So what can we do about it?

I believe we have two options: 

1) We can abolish credit all together - If you haven't earned it you can't have it. It's that simple. What's the problem with this plan? Although it's a very sane, well-thought out plan, Big Business doesn't really like it when Americans commit treason through the act of "budgeting". The Big Business Machine is oiled with the blood of the cell phone-toting proletariat masses, and they'd like it to stay that way.  I get a couple of mails and phone calls a week wanting me to get a new credit card.  I tell them "NO" I can't afford it.  They don't care, they just call back in a week or two and try to pitch it again.  They do not want us to be smart and budget our money. 

2) We can give free reign to the credit card companies, and let the chips fall where they may - A little late on that MasterCard payment? No problem, we'll just jack up your interest rate to 3 billion percent, garnish all of your wages, kill your first born son, and take over your house and replace your car with a moped. A little late again? Don't Worry! That's why we have the death penalty! (The death penalty can solve so many of our nation's problems if our soft-hearted political leaders would only learn to make misdemeanors punishable by death.)

These plans may seem a little outlandish at first, but they're certainly better than the alternative: fiscal responsibility (HEAVEN FORBID!  DID I JUST SAY THAT!)