Penis Van Lesbian

Another one of Our Reader's Jokes.  This one comes from Dennis in California.  Not sure if Dick Van Dyke would like this one:

Back in the 50's, a man walked into a Hollywood agent's office. He told the agent that he wanted to be a big star and that he wanted the agent to represent him. The agent asked the man's name, to which he proudly replied, "Penis Van Lesbian." Taken aback, the agent said, "If you want to be a big star, you will have to change your name." The man, somewhat offended, told the agent, "The Van Lesbian name goes back centuries and I am very proud of my name! I will never change my name! Ever!" "Then I won't be able to represent you." Said the agent. "Then good day to you, sir!" The man yelled as he stormed out of the office.

Five years later, the agent received a letter along with a check for $50,000, written out to him. He wondered if it was sent to him by mistake until he read the letter.

The letter said,
Dear Sir, Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood and you told me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my God-given birth name, I refused. You told me I would never make it in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian. After I left your office, I thought about what you said. I decided you were right. I had to change my name. I had too much pride to return to your office, so I signed with another agent. I would never have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation. Thank you for your advice..
Sincerely,
Dick Van Dyke

Here are our other "Reader's Jokes."  Send those jokes in and we will try and post them ASAP.  Email your jokes to semi.madman@gmail.com.  THANKS!!!

The Blonde Convention

(Via Jokes4us.com) - BTW - I Love Blondes. No Offense Ladies :)

A group of blondes decided to get together and hold a blonde convention to prove that blondes aren't dumb. They invited all the blonde people in the area.

In the middle of the event, they chose one random person from the crowd to answer questions, to prove she could answer them as well as anybody else.

"What is twelve plus three?" asked the interviewer.

"Nineteen," she responded. The interviewer felt very uncomfortable, however, the crowd was still supportive. To help get the girl's confidence back up, they shouted, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

"I'm going to ask you another question," said the interviewer. "What is ten times five?"

The blonde was sure she would get it right this time. "Sixty!" she said.

The interviewer shook her head, but again, the crowd cheered, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The interviewer said, "I'm going to give you one last chance. This will be a very easy question. What is two plus one?"

"Three!" said the blonde, happy to get a question she could finally answer correctly.

The interviewer was about to congratulate when she was interrupted by the cheering of the crowd: "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

Reader's Jokes

We have been getting alot of jokes sent to us recently.  So many in fact that we are starting a new series of posts called "Reader's Jokes."  Send those jokes in and we will try and post them ASAP.  Email your jokes to semi.madman@gmail.com.  THANKS!!!

Our first joke is from Christian who lives in Germany. 

A German guy is at the French border.

The French customs officer asks him some questions.

-Name?

-Karl Schmidt.

-Place of Residence?

-Munich.

-Occupation?

-Oh, no, no. I'm just visiting.