College - I Was an Idiot Sometimes

Its early morning and just like any other school day you take a shower, brush your teeth, eat breakfast and watch the morning sports headlines on ESPN’s Sportscenter while you are getting dressed. Another fun filled day of Boring classes awaits you as you leave your house in complete misery (and many times that misery is accompanied by a hangover.) By this time the thought of not going and just staying home has crossed your mind at least five times, but you decide to push on and somehow manage to get to a class that you have absolutely no desire in learning anything about (Damn Pre-requisites and required courses.) While driving your shitty car on the way to the campus, you think to yourself of how much it’s going to suck to drive around and try to find a parking space.  Then you have to walk 10 more minutes across the campus to the class. You pray you can make it and not walk in late, like you have already done 8 times this semester.  

You finally arrive in the parking lot and start circling the lot like a vulture circling a dog that is about to die.  WHOA!  In the distance, you see someone getting into their car way up in the front row of the parking log.  You gun your car and race over there, trying to beat anyone else who might have spotted this rare occurrence.  HOORAY!  You made it!  You are in the front row for only the second time in your three years at the university.  You think to yourself “Maybe this day is going to be pretty good!” 

You start your 10-minute trek to class and you bump into the incredibly hot girl you liked in your Chemistry class last semester.  She recognizes you and says Hi.  You talk for a minute then tell her you hope to see her again soon as you have to get to class.  You exchange numbers.  Now you have an extra spring in your step and you get to class just as the professor is heading in to start the lecture.  You have a BIG SMILE on your face! This might be the best day of the semester…Hell it might be the best day of your entire College Career.

You settle in the seat and get your things out.  As you look around the room you notice that everyone is hurried writing and flipping through books, stapling papers, etc.  You ask the guy next to you what is going on with all the activity.  He tells you everyone is putting their final touches on the term paper assigned last month that is due today and worth 40% of your final grade! 

OH SHIT!!  The day takes an immediate nose dive as you remember that a month ago, you missed a few classes in a row because you went to New Orleans for Mardi Gras… 

Yes, this actually happened to me!  I think that must have been the worst feeling I ever had in college.  I had totally forgotten about it because I skipped a few classes.  I had also lost the syllabus and this was before everything was posted online.  OOOPS!  I talked to the professor and made up a story about family matters and having to go home to visit the family for a few days.  He let me turn in the paper late, but for half credit.  I ended up getting an 48 on it when it should have been a 96%.  I ended the class with a C+, because of that paper.  I got an A on the two other tests and an A+ on the final.  I was such a Damn Idiot!!!  

Things I Learned From Traveling The World

I love to travel!  I have traveled throughout South and Central America, the Caribbean, Australia and around a good chunk of Asia.  All in All, I have been to over 40 countries around the globe.   So I kind of consider myself an expert when it comes to traveling.  I kept a journal of all of my travels and have posted short travelogues on this blog of my trips.  I will continue to post those. 

I spent some time over these past few weeks looking over my travel writings and I decided to list some things that I learned while traveling around the world.

1) For the most part,people are generally good.

There are so many people who are afraid to travel due to terrorism, travel schemes and crime.  Many people believe that everyone who lives in another country are murderers, rapists and robbers.  I have to say that I have rarely come across bad people in my travels.  I have been the victim of a mugging and had my bag stolen a couple of times, but I have also been the victim of an assault here in the U.S. and have had my house broken into several times and my car burglarized and vandalized.  Crime happens everywhere.  There are bad people everywhere.  Luckily, there are way more Good People than bad people in the world.  Everywhere I have traveled, I have found many people who were ready to help me, offer me a place to stay, invite me to their homes for a meal, etc.  The majority of people in the world are just like you and me; they are trying to get by and make a living.  Have faith in Humanity!

2) Just because You Don’t hear a Country in the News doesn’t mean it isn’t worth visiting.

On the contrary, many of the countries that you never hear about are probably the safest and some of the most vibrant countries to visit.  I went to Turks and Caicos and also to Laos in my travels.  Each time, people said to me “Where is that?  Why would you want to go there since most people haven’t heard of it?”  My Reply “EXACTLY!”  The problem is that the media likes sensational stories.  Natural disasters, wars, crime, scandals, human rights abuses – they focus on these.  Therefore, many of the countries that are in the news are not necessarily the places one would want to visit.  Libya, Yemen, Chechnya, Egypt – Probably not the safest countries to visit but that is all you hear in the news. That doesn’t mean the other countries are boring, just normal.  

3) People don’t hate Americans.

I rarely have encountered any anti-Americanism in my travels.  Sure, there are a few jokes or “What the hell is up with your government?” but no outright aggressive attacks.  The only time I felt threatened was by a taxi driver in Mexico who happened to be drunk.  I truly believe there are more anti-American sentiment here in the United States than in other parts of the world.  Once again, the media plays a big part in this.  There might be a small demonstration with 100 people in Lahore, Pakistan and the media makes it sound like the whole country is pissed off at Americans.  And yes, I have traveled to some countries that the media say is full of anti-American sentiment.  I have been to Pakistan, Bolivia, Venezuela and Afghanistan and I never came across people who were openly anti-American.  Many of them are against what our government stands for, but they are not against the people

4) Americans don’t like to travel outside of the U.S.

Unfortunately, this stereotype seems to be true. Americans don’t travel overseas as much as Brits, Dutch, Germans, Canadians, Aussies or Scandinavians. In Asia and South America, I would go days without encountering another American, but I would meet 3 or 4 Aussies, Italians and Germans a day.  Canadians are out in force too.  I would say that Canadians, Aussies and Germans are the three countries that travel the most.  I understand that there are some reasons for this; Americans usually only have a week off for vacation, there is a lot to see in the USA, and fear and ignorance prevents them from traveling abroad. 

5) Contrary to popular belief, the rest of the world isn’t full of deadly germs! 

I have seen many people travel with their own supply of bottled water, brought from the states.  I have seen people pack a liter size bottle of hand sanitizer that they lug around everywhere they go.  I have never used hand sanitizer unless it happened to be in the bathroom where I was at and I don’t go out of my to avoid germs.  In foreign countries, I pretty much act the same way I do back home.  If I am in a place where people advise me to drink bottled water, I will do it, but I have drank the tap water in many places and been just fine.  Yes, I have gotten sick in many different countries but I also have gotten food poisoning several times here in the states.  I have gotten salmonella three times here and only twice while traveling.  I have gotten diarrhea many times on the road, but I also get it from time to time when I am home. 

6) Don’t pack a lot of stuff

Take the basics.  I see travelers with two huge suitcases for monthlong journeys.  WHY?  I always take 4 or 5 changes of clothes, one extra pair of shoes, a sweater or jacket, some extra undies and socks and that is about it.  You can do your laundry as you go.  It is cheap and sure makes traveling a lot easier.  I usually travel with one duffel bag or large backpack, that’s it.  And watch out what you buy cause you are either gonna have to carry it around with you or pay a ton of money to ship it back home.

 

7) Traveling is not as expensive as you think it is.

People always ask me “Where did you get the money to travel?”  If you stay in resorts and luxury hotels, you are going to spend up to or over $100 a day.  But if you stay at hostels and small hotels, travel can be cheap.  In Bolivia, I was living on about $15 per day (Including hotel, food and transportation.)  In India, I found a very nice hotel in Goa with a private bathroom for only $5 a night.  There are a lot of bargains out there, you just have to keep an eye out for them. I also earned money during some of my travels by teaching English. 

8) Don’t Blow off a Culture.

Part of the joy of traveling is to experience the other country’s culture.  That means eating their food, visiting their museums, getting to know the people, etc.  Unfortunately, I have seen way too many people whole up in a 5-star luxury hotel, eat in American Restaurants, take only group tours, etc.  These people are missing out!  Eat the local food, travel by bus with the locals, attend a festival, etc.  Why go to China to just eat McDonalds and go on tours with other foreigners?  Get immersed in the culture! 

9)  America and Canada share a common culture.

I am sure that this is going to piss off many Canadians, but we really do share a common North American culture. If you meet someone overseas, it is almost impossible to tell if they are American or Canadian unless they have a particularly strong accent (could be southern, New Yorkish, or French Canadian.)  Honestly, it is easier for me to tell what part of Great Britain someone is from rather than trying to figure out if a guy is from St. Louis or Edmonton.  That is why I like to use the term “North American” culture rather than just “American” culture. 

10) You can find the internet almost everywhere.

I don’t think I have ever been far from the internet during my travels.  Whether it is an internet café, a restaurant, hotel or a public wifi spot, they are just about everywhere.  I have been to remote villages in the Amazon and they even had one building that had satellite internet.  I have been to remote parts of the Himalaya and found internet access in a town square (in fact, there were a total of 6 open wifi signals there!)  We truly live in a wired world.

11) In developing countries, government is usually the problem.

Unfortunately, corruption seems to be the norm in the majority of developing countries.  Why is that?  Most of these countries are democracies.  Think about it; most of the nations have an elected government of elite, wealthy power players in the country since they are the only ones that can afford to campaign.  They govern the country in order to keep themselves and their friends wealthy and in power.  Bribes, Political assassinations, extortion, and illegal arrests are the norm in these places as the balance of power is very tedious.  I liken the governments of many countries to the Mafia and organized crime.  They can get away with it since they have the power and control the police force and military.  I was shocked at the corruption I have seen in “Democratic” countries such as Paraguay, Bolivia, the Philippines and India.  And it starts at the top and works its way all the way down to the “Foot Soldiers.”  Many cops in these countries are corrupt and will stop you and demand a few dollars because they think you have jaywalked or something.  The problem is, many locals have learned to live with it.  Don’t let it get you down.  If you stand your ground, most times you will be on your way with only a slight time delay. 

12) English is becoming universal.

I am not sure that this is a good thing.  Almost everywhere I have traveled, I have found somebody that speaks English within minutes.  This is helpful for traveling but I fear that many languages are slowly being lost.  Many of the local dialects are disappearing forever.  Native groups in Mexico, Central and South America are learning Spanish and English, but not even bothering to learn their native tongue.

13) Everyone should travel.

You Must Travel!  At some point during your lifetime, whether it is a gap year after college, a month between jobs or when you retire, everybody should take a long trip outside of your native country and experience a foreign culture.  Experience the World and you will be glad you did! 

Cherries and Bananas - Dating Advice for Everyone

Enrique and I came up with this list.  We wrote it as part of our "Free Advice Fridays" series.  Lanthie, Care to chime in here on your dating experiences.  Maybe we can help some of these poor souls out there on their journey toward Relationship Bliss!!!

Lanthie - Relationships are very complicated and I am no expert.  Finding a suitable partner has to be one of the most difficult things in the world.  Some people are just lucky to have found the one. (As always, my comments in red)

1. 95% of the time, the guy or girl you are pining for didn’t lose their phone. They didn’t drop in the toilet or the bathtub. It wasn’t shut off. It’s plain and simple - they just didn’t want to text you. If not, why aren’t they messaging your on facebook or sending you a tweet this very minute? 

Get over your selves.  If we don’t want to text you we won’t.  But then I have yet to meet a man who pines for a girl to text him.  It is usually the other way around.

2. If you’re looking at someone’s online dating profile and there are several people in their photo and you say, “Who is that girl? She’s hot!”, the hot girl will never be that girl of the profile. She will always be the “Ok” looking girl standing next to the Hot Girl.  

Don’t ever refer to another girl or woman we know as Hot (or attractive or has nice boobs or legs or whatever).  “I am the hottest thing on earth”.  At least this is what all women want to believe and should be told by the love of their lives.

3. No one’s ever “too busy” to hang out with you. Lots of busy people still date. If they say they are “too busy” that means bug off!

My significant other is always too busy!  So should I take that as a sign…..  Hmmmm  Will have to give it some thought.

4. If they’re talking about their ex all the time, then they are not over their ex. Get out while you can!  Everything you do and say will be compared to their ex.  They are probably not ready to date, even if they claim that they are and it is time to move on.  Don’t believe them!

I totally agree.  You should never talk about your ex.  Yes we are curious about her and do want you to mention her in passing but we want to hear how bad she was in bed or how bad her cooking was.  But please don’t harp on about her.  Be honest with yourself – if you are still in to her then say so and give us the opportunity to move on.

5. Don’t rush into anything. If he/she doesn’t call you girlfriend/boyfriend after a couple of dates, it’s ok.  Take it slow and steady.  

Take it slow and steady.  But don’t play dead.  If you’ve been going out for awhile and he still doesn’t refer to you as his girlfriend, then move on.  

6. How quickly they text you back says nothing about how they feel about you, unless it’s something like several days or weeks – then you have a problem.  Many times, I am driving, working or out jogging when I receive a text.  I don’t stop what I am doing to text back.  I will text back when I am done.  It might be 20 minutes, it might be an hour or two. 

I hate it when I don’t get a text back immediately.  But common sense does prevail and I do realize you may be busy.  So we acknowledge that you may be busy, but do make us feel that you have prioritized replying.  My worst is when someone stops texting in the middle of the conversation.  Have the decency to say you have to go do something or you’ll be back in a bit or something.  Don’t just keep us hanging.

7.  Every girl or guy isn’t going to be “the one” — and maybe nobody ever will. Here is a little hint – Look for “the one who is good right now?” You will find a lot more people filling that description and then you can see if it leads to him or her being “The one.”

The one who is good right now is always a good choice.   We all have different needs at different times of our lives so someone may be good for your current situation.  Get to know them better.  They may actually be “the one”.

8. Sex with another person always means something — whether you are dating casually, non-exclusively or are married. I hate to be blunt (OK, I Love to be blunt) but you are inside someone!  That means something, no matter how you look at it! Sex is an inherently meaningful act. You might say it doesn’t mean anything, but I guarantee you that it means something to at least one of the two involved (and probably both, you are just in denial!)

So agree here.  I cannot have meaningless sex.  If I have sex with you, I care for you and probably very deeply.  So take it as a sign.  And if you don’t care for me deeply, then please don’t screw with me  (excuse the pun) and have the decency to tell me and move on if necessary.

9. Looks don’t mean anything. Hot guys can be jerks, Beautiful women can be bitches, both living in a world where they are obsessed with their looks and feel that everyone else should be into them like they are into themselves.  Likewise, some of the nicest, most genuine and caring people I have ever met had average or below average looks.  “Don’t Judge a book by its cover!”  

You don’t fall in love with looks – you fall in love with the full package.  Take the time to get to know someone before deciding.

10. When someone says they are breaking up with you because they “don’t want to date” that just means that they don’t want to date you.

Very true.  It’s like someone offering you cake.  Why would you say you don’t want cake.  You just don’t want that piece of cake.  So be honest.  If you don’t want to date someone then say so.  We can put on our big girl panties and accept that you don’t like us.  I can’t imagine anyone not wanting a meaningful relationship.

11. Do all of your friends hate your significant other? Does your mom hate them? Do people who don’t even know you hate them? I would say that is a HUGE RED FLAG!  Listen to your friends and family. 

If all your friends and family hate your significant other, then that is a huge red flag.  Must admit I would probably never tell someone that I don’t like their significant other as it is not my place to have an opinion here.  

12. If they don’t show interest in you within a few weeks, let it go.  You’re not going to wear them down or trick them into liking you or waiting around for months for a girl or guy to come around just doesn’t happen.  And if you are officially in the “Friend Zone” even worse.  It isn’t gonna happen.  Sure, there are a few exceptions, but few and far between.  It really isn’t worth wasting months or even years waiting for someone to come around. 

Relationships are a two way street.  You cannot ever expect anyone to come around or ever change.  If the attraction isn’t there within a reasonable amount of time, it is never going to happen.

13. The other sex isn’t as complicated as you think. It usually is a lack of communication that causes all these problems and complications.  Be honest and talk! 

Not much more to be said here.  Communication is the most important thing in a relationship.

14. Don’t flash the bling!  Most potential girlfriends and boyfriends don’t care if you have a fat wallet, a new sports car, or wear $1000 suits.  If they do care, then they are superficial and not worth your time. If you are looking for that, then go ahead and flaunt it, but it is gonna be a lonely (and expensive) romance!

I would live in a shack if it meant I could be with the man I love.  Money and material things mean nothing in a relationship and the good old saying “for better or worse” is very applicable here.  And bad times fall on the best of us at the worst of times.  So just because he drives a nice flashy car now, doesn’t mean he will still be driving it in 5 years time.

More Great Advice from Our “Free Advice Fridays” Series

Read other posts in the “Cherries and Bananas” series

Come on over to the dark side occasionally and read my blog at http://www.lifecherries.com

Remembering High School

Reminiscing today about the Good 'ol Days.  Back in my teen years when I didn't have a care in the world.

Since I only have about 5 minutes, let me post the first few things I thought of.  Warning, I am in a "Funny" mood today, so my memories were funny ones.

1. In one of my Earth Science classes, we were handed out a worksheet with the title of, "The Big Bang and the Day After." A Classmate sitting next to me whispered, "Hey,. The big bang and the morning after.  Sounds like my girl and I last Saturday" The teacher heard him and threw him out of the room.  

2. A couple of my friends and I used to drive around together in my giant Ford LTD listening to gangster rap, throwing McDonalds Happy Meal toys at other moving cars, and tipping over portable toilets (sometimes with friends in them.)  I know, I know - Juvenile, but I was about 17 and I was living in a small town.  There wasn't a whole lot to do.

3. There was this guy in school whose nickname given to him by his work buddies is Big Business because he handles his damn business. When he hooked up with women of a heavy variety, he said they were "Business Class."

4. We had a teacher who Big Business used to drive nuts with his class clown antics, and one day when she asked where my book was, Business said, "He burned it." Without asking me if it was true, she called my dad to inform him that I had burned my Reading book. I get home, and my dad says, "So, you're burning books, huh?!"  Big Business had that kind of power.  He would say something and people would just believe it to be true.

5. During a basketball bus roadtrip for a Friday night game, a buddy pulled his pants down and pressed his butt cheeks up against the glass for a girl to see waiting to cross the street at a corner. The girl caught a glance and then looked away in horror.  We were watching her reaction and then turned back to the guy on the bus (I think his name was Travis).  While we were watching her, he had turned around in the seat and was giving her a full frontal nude show.  Travis? was a ninth-grader and I was surprised the lady could see his junk!!!  

My Terrible Luck When Flying

If you’ve ever traveled by airplane by yourself, this will probably be familiar to you. You sit at the gate, patiently waiting for the flight and reading a magazine, paper or your kindle.  From time to time, you scan the crowd, first looking for potential psychos and terrorists who could cut your flight short, and then looking for people that you hope you will be lucky enough to sit next to on the flight.  It could be that hot coed in the short shorts and tank top, or the Hardbody MILF with glasses on.  Maybe it is a guy wearing a t-shirt from your alma mater. 

This is always my pre-flight routine and I know that it is the same routine shared by hundreds of other flyers.  I do a lot of business flights every year.  This year alone, I have been on a total of 42 flights, so I kind of consider myself an expert.

My problem is that the Airplane Passenger Gods Hate Me!!   Seriously, they do.  I never get to sit next to the hottie or the wild looking MILF.  It just isn’t in my cards. 

I can’t tell you how many times I have sat in the terminal, with glassy eyes, shaking from too much caffeine, reading a magazine, listening to my iPod and praying to God that the beautiful 20 year old Tri-Delt Sorority girl with the faded tight jeans and wearing a tankt top with no bra on ends up in the seat next to me.  I start thinking of what I am going to say to make small talk, what her hair smells like, is she the type that will want to do a quickie in the airplane bathroom… 

But it never happens. Instead, I usually get to sit next to some weird dude who is wearing a Christian Right-Wing fanatical T-Shirt and wants to lecture me about Jesus.  Or I get to sit next to the guy who hasn’t showered for a week cuz he is coming back from the Amazon Jungle and hasn’t been around running water.  Maybe it will be the crazy foreigner who wants to practice his English with me, but I cannot understand a word he is saying so I just smile and nod a lot.  If it is a hot girl that sits next to me, it usually is a mother who has her super loud, rambunctious kids in tow. She ends up asking me if I can watch her kids while she goes to the bathroom and then disappears for 30 minutes (This actually happened to me not once, but twice!) 

Maybe it will be an annoying drunk guy heading back home from his trade show convention, wanting to talk about life insurance or something mundane like that.  Or it might be a woman who looks and acts like she is the twin of Honey Boo-Boo’s mom.  These are the type of people that always end up sitting next to me.  I have to put up with them for 2, 3, 4 maybe even 5 hours!!! 

Seriously, I don’t think there is a worst kind of teasing out there.  My last flight from Philadelphia back home had promise.  College students were flying back to college and there were at least 7 or 8 beautiful college girls waiting for the plane.  There were also another 3 or 4 MILFS and probably another 10 or so ladies that fell somewhere between College coed and MILF.  Of about 22 potential passenger on a plane that had a little less than 100 total passengers, I thought I had a good shot at getting a hottie to sit next to me.  HELL NO!!!  I was one of the first ones on the plane and I kept watching the beautiful women file in, one after another, and place their tight bodies and beautiful asses in seats that weren’t next to mine. Who did I end up with next to me?  A guy who informed me that he has been sick and throwing up for the past two days.  He asked if he could sit on the aisle “just in case.”  He then proceeded to fall asleep and snore so loud, I wasn’t sure the plane was shaking from turbulence or from his snoring.  I have the Worst Luck!!!